3. Autonomy

The Strategy: Autonomy-Supportive Parenting.

In late childhood, the "homework battle" often isn't actually about the math or the reading; it is a battle for control. As children approach adolescence, they have a biological drive for independence. When we try to force compliance through nagging or hovering, we often inadvertently increase their resistance and stress.

The Research: The Power of Choice A 2022 study involving 10-year-olds found that "Parental Autonomy Support"—parenting that encourages self-expression and offers choices—was significantly positively related to homework completion and academic self-efficacy (Valdés-Cuervo et al., 2022) . When parents shifted from controlling behaviors to supportive behaviors, children reported more positive emotions toward their work (Valdés-Cuervo et al., 2022) .

The Shift: From Enforcer to Consultant To reduce conflict, try handing some of the control back to your child.

• Offer Meaningful Choices: Instead of saying, "Do your homework now," try asking, "Do you want to start with the hardest assignment or the easiest one?" or "Would you prefer to work for 20 minutes and then take a break, or push through to the end?"

• Validate the Struggle: Acknowledge that the work is hard before asking them to do it. This simple act of empathy can lower their defenses and make them more willing to engage.